On Low Key Friendships
I'm just in for a good time
I went out for drinks twice last week which is unheard of for me these days. But it occurred to me that both nights were maintaining two of my lowest-key friendships. And while they are wildly different relationships, the heart of them both is that we enjoy each other’s company and root for each other but have no preconceived notions of how to show up for each other.
Thursday night I met my best friend from college for drinks at a fancy cocktail bar in Midtown Manhattan. We have been best friends for over 20 years. I lost her to the suburbs a few years ago, but her job brings her into the city frequently enough and we manage to sneak in time here and there. We also text constantly about our jobs, motherhood, marriage, books we’re reading, podcasts we’re listening to, how heavy the world feels right now, and how Britney seems to be doing. We send each other memes on Instagram that make us laugh or cry depending on our mood and TikToks about how to get dressed. We are in constant communication, but we rarely get to hang out in person these days—and to be honest it was like that the final few years she lived in Brooklyn, too. As you get older and start families and get more demanding jobs it is hard to maintain friendships, but what I love about us, and our own love story, is that we have always been this way—even in college. We never had the type of friendship with a lot of expectations. We are always honest with each other about what we can and can’t do and give each other grace for the busy seasons of our lives. She had to catch a train at 8, so we met at 6 and crammed as much chatting and catching up as we could (along with shrimp cocktail and a few gin cocktails) in those two hours and I was home and in my pajamas by 9. Truly the best kind of date.
Friday night my husband and I met an old friend of mine from high school at yet another cocktail bar in our neighborhood. He lives in Cleveland and had tagged along with his girlfriend on a work trip in New York. I hadn’t seen him since I was on a work trip in Chicago 5 years ago! Since high school, we have managed to catch up at various times throughout our lives and he is just a good and interesting dude. Unlike my other low-key friendship, we don’t communicate in between these catch ups—no phone calls, texts, emails, or anything! We like each other’s Instagram posts and have a vague notion of what each other has going on in their lives, but that is it. I have always liked him and rooted for him, and I know he feels the same about me. It is just refreshing to be able to pick back up and catch up even though so much time has passed. I hope he’ll always let me know when he is in New York.
I’ve had so many complicated friendships over the years where I always feel like I am not doing enough. Or I get into awkward situations because sometimes I go a little quiet and it has caused hurt to people who assume I am not invested in the relationship. Low-key friendships are where it is at for me right now. No pressure, just warm feelings and a good time.
Read
The Housemaid by Freida McFadden
Last week I talked about what I have deemed a “quick and dirty” read and this week I am here with what I call an “in-between” book. I honestly wasn’t even going to cover this book, but then I thought about how much I do need the in-between books to wind down the last one and get me ready for the next great book on my list. Last Saturday I took my daughter to the library and picked up The Housemaid because I have seen it all over the place lately. I finished it by 10pm Saturday night. It is twisty and suspenseful, a bit silly but addictive.
We start with Millie, a young woman who recently got out of jail, as she is on an interview for a housekeeper position with Nina Winchester and desperately trying to hide her past. Millie and Nina hit it off and Nina seems impressed with Milie’s (doctored) resume. A week later Nina offers Millie the position and she moves out of her car and into the Winchester’s attic in the beautiful Long Island home. Immediately things begin to take a turn as Nina becomes erratic and demanding of Millie. Nina’s husband is a great and caring father and Millie begins to confide in him her struggles with Nina. As they grow closer, and Nina becomes more and more unhinged you begin to wonder what is really going on here.
As I said, this book is dark, twisty, and addictive and you will probably finish it in a day or two. So, if you’re in need of an in-betweener this one did for me exactly what I needed it to.
Listen
The Girlfriends
Feel like crying your eyes out? Listen to The Girlfriends. Shortly after Carole Fisher’s divorce starts dating a handsome and wealthy Jewish doctor in Las Vegas named Bob. Bob seems great at first, but Carole soon discovers Bob has a temper and is very cagey about his ex-wife who, by the way, just so happens to be missing. After Carole ends the relationship, she realized many women she knows in the Las Vegas have also dated Bob. The women start meeting up for weekly venting sessions about Bob over drinks and dinner and casually start investigating what really happened to Bob’s wife Gail Katz. What happens next is an outpouring of love and support between so many women standing together against domestic violence and the situation so many women can find themselves in in relationships. I cried my eyes out during the ninth and final episode. This podcast is sad and hopeful and full of love.
Make
Ok, ok, another casserole from Half Baked Harvest, I know! Riveting! But this is just my vibe right now. This Broccoli Cheddar Chicken and Noodle casserole is an easy to make, easy to clean up crowd pleaser that also warms up great for lunch the next few days. You’re welcome.